After grinding through the finishing touches of my COM1510 essay, I still had time left over yesterday to loll around aimlessly in my apartment. And stare at my laptop screen. And read visual novels with questionable content.
…I digress. Lemme fast forward.
I grew fed up with ‘intellectual’ text and wanted instant-action and brainless crap to detox from dangerous pathogens Majora Academius Overloadus and his friend Istayhomeon Saturadaynitus. Grabbing a few friends, we bought tickets to Watchmen, since y’know, it’s funny looking *cough*fat*cough* people in Spandex, had HUEG amounts of hype and there was nothing else worth watching. Except Duplicity. Which sucked.
As using any images from the film could be a violation of ZOMFG INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT LAWS, this shall be the only piktar in this poast.
… Only to be treated to a GP (General Paper) show in disguise. I was shifting around uncomfortably in my seat about the time when some hobo appeared on screen spraypainting “Who Watches the Watchmen?” Unfortunately, me. Along with the poor bastards I dragged along.
In summary, the movie is about a bunch of circus rejects growing fat on their retirement pensions that the US government dishes out to “wartime veterans” in the year 1985. One got murdered. One of them, ski mask guy with funny patterns, thinks that it’s some conspiracy to kill them all by Mr Watergate President.
Actually, it was all JUST AS PLANNED by the ‘smartest man on Earth’ who wanted to give blue Subatomic Particlesman early pariah-hood. In exchange for… world peace. Oh, there’s some senseless fighting (good!), sex (too drawn out, kinda pointless too) and bloodbaths (gory) in between as well. Ski Mask Guy rocks.
Okay I lied. But what's a Watchmen post without a Smiley (albeit hand-drawn)?
Not too hard to tell that I didn’t enjoy the movie and its blatant pandering to the ‘intellectuals’ in the audience. I shall attempt to summarise the lessons taught (I refuse to use ‘learnt’).
1) How do you get peace between 2 parties? Find someone in common to go to war with instead. Because enemies are all like commies in Vodkaland who suddenly become your chums and forgive your transgressions after your greatest “Fuck You!” to them runs rampant and blows shit up. No worries, you just have to backstab them when you’re done.
Although technically, you’re still at war with someone and something all the time. And someone always loses.
2) US society love their ‘freedom’ so much that they’ll knock down vigilantes even when they’re good guys. That’s why systems like benevolent dictatorships will never work. Because Western World democracies always insist on the need to control their authorities.
They argue that there has to be a police to police the police, and then more will argue about who polices said police. The public? But if they do that, then the police can’t police the public because they’re constantly being ‘policed’ by the police which is policed by the public police and can’t be very fair…. shit brain hurts.
If you’re a detail nazi, replace “police” with “watches/watchmen”
3) Like all modern superhero shows (well, many of them lol), there’s the talk about cutting down a tree to save a forest (or killing a million to save a billion). Also plenty of talk about “injustice for the greater good”. Ultimately there’s no such thing as a “greater value” or “greater good” since it boils down to personal interpretation:
Example- Is a hundred Einsteins worth sacrificing for a thousand useless beggars on the street? If a killer you personally witnessed in the act gets away off-scot free in a court of law, do you not punish him out of a need to ‘respect the laws’ that have judged him to be innocent?
Course, Ski Mask Guy’s diary is leaked by desperate-for-story journalist, rendering the above argument moot and saving us from excessive logic<->moral brain activity. It also destroyed all the shit preparation and sacrifices(?) made by ‘smartest man on Earth’. Way to go, media industry! I’ll be joining you guys in your efforts to destroy the world after graduation.
Endnote- Screenplay (or at least many elements of it) was written by David Hayter. I personally think he took too many cues from “The writing style of Hideo Kojima: for dummies” .
Posted by OneTonMii 
